Vignette Nr. 2

Vignette Nr. 2


Empfangene und gesendete Messages
(received and sent Messages)

Kaffee ‘to-go’

  • 1. Babewyn 11:18
    "Comparing to 70 % of gay men from USA,Canada (who are seriously looking for friendships,relation) on GayRomeo, only 10 % are likewise serious here in Germany and rest of EU."

    I resented that comment in your profile the last time i read it. I didn’t comment then, but since you are back … a quick briefing in cultural diversity:

    Anglos are very quick to form loose bonds to large numbers of people. That is pleasant, sociable and i think it is okay, though many Europeans see it as ‘shallow’. On the other hand, Anglos have a great hesitancy to have sex for innumerable reasons that are also ‘typically Anglo’. Most continental Europeans see that as ‘up-tight’. It is just a difference.

    Many continental Europeans are much more closed emotionally, but have fewer qualms about sex. That means they are perfectly willing to have sex with you, but you will never penetrate their emotional inner-circle. I have lived on the continent now for 25 years, and have made all of 3 (that’s t-h-r-e-e) friends. That is the way things are here. It is just a difference.

  • 2. Nick 11:24
    Good explanation, but what I see is that many Germans take advantage of this gay site only for sex. I mean the Anglo men are more serious in their approach even on a site like this. That’s all.
  • 3. Babewyn 11:34
    I don’t like the word ‘serious’, it is very judgmental.

    Germans were wary of strangers even before the web existed. In addition, for Germans there is something ‘not quite respectable’ about the web itself. The idea of making friends on the web is more than just absurd to the German way of thinking, it is somehow morally reprehensible, and so of course many ‘only’ use GayRomeo to find sex.

    You are right. You will not meet many Germans for friendship here. In fact it is very, very difficult to befriend German people at all, because of the very strict definition of the word “Freund” (friend). You may remain a “Bekannter” (an acquaintance) for decades, and never become a “Freund”. It is a cultural difference.

    Scolding them because of it is completely counter productive. It only makes them (us) defensive.

  • 4. Nick 11:37
    I use GayRomeo mainly because I don’t have time to go the gay scene, and it is difficult for foreigners to socialize in gay bars in Berlin.

  • 5. Babewyn 11:47
    You are right about foreigners and socializing in the gay bars in Berlin. That is a can-of-worms i open regularly with my gay “Bekannte”s.
    A Filipino friend (US-connotation) says he was bodily escorted out of Tom’s last Autumn, i can only assume for looking Asian, and wearing bright and ‘unusual’ (for here) clothing. Cannot think of another reason, he had not really got through the door, he never drinks or takes drugs, and had not even spoken.

    But take heart. Bars are places where alcohol is served. Unless alcohol is your primary hobby, you are not likely to meet like-minded individuals in bars. So who cares.

    The ‘gay scene’ is dead. There is no scene really, just bars like rotting teeth that remind us of what was once a hopeful smile. (next can-of-worms)

    If you feel lonely, you need to find a hobby, or get a dog. GayRomeo is not going to do anything but frustrate you, and make you feel more lonely.
    Dogs are lovely creatures, and great for meeting men: "Aw, isn’t he cu-u-ute! What’s his name?" Answer: "His name is Spot, and i am Bob. What is yours?"

    Forget GayRomeo.

  • 6. Nick 11:59
    I can’t forget GayRomeo, because I have been 3 or 4 times to Tom’s before. It is very open there, but guys are just cruising in pairs, and don’t talk easily.

  • 7. Babewyn 12:17
    Mh … gay men really only have one thing in common, and even that is pretty individual. C_ck ain’t much basis for a personal liking for one another.

    I don’t talk to many people i know for sex. Frankly, i have had the experience that if i do, i am generally aghast at how hare-brained most of them are. Best to f_ck, not talk, and retain the illusion.

    And the next bit, that most of us don’t want to realize is, we aren’t 19 anymore. We are grown men. Grown men don’t make friends easily, the way teenagers do. When you are a teenager it is enough to be at the same school, then you are friends. When you are over 40 that just doesn’t cut the muster.

  • 12:18 Computer generated message: Nick reads message 7.

  • 13:23 Nick, still on-line … no reply.

    CC0 Babewyn